Number 14

Play my violin in front of an audience.

Ok friends, I don't know why, but playing my violin in front of people calls upon some of the worst stage fright I ever get. I would rather give a talk in stake conference, or sing and dance in a silly costume in front of the whole school than play my violin in front of people. I don't know why. Shouldn't my violin be comforting? Like having a friend up there with me? You would think so...but it's not. It has quite the opposite effect actually. For some reason, this particular recital was especially bad. I haven't gotten this serious of stage fright since the eighth grade. Eighth grade! Funny enough, that was playing my violin on Trek in front of all the youth in my stake, but that's a different story. Maybe it's because the song I was playing was an absolute beast! Just look at it!

Or maybe it's because I'm a chicken. Who knows. Whatever the cause, it went well, now it's over, and I get to cross the first thing off of my bucket list!

10 Years

While I was frantically stressing out about my huge to do list, I did something I don't usually do when I'm stressed out. I turned on some music, closed my eyes, and thought. I thought about a lot of things, but I'm only going to tell you about two.

First of all, how much I've changed. This is me when I was six...

 

And this is me almost exactly 10 years later...

Ten years really isn't all that long if you think about it, but look how much can change in just that short amount of time. I look completely different. My challenges are completely different. My dreams are completely different. My thoughts are completely different. My goals are completely different. How I spend my time is completely different. My level of understanding is completely different. You get the picture. Things change. I am not the same person I was ten years ago. This brings me to my second thought.

What am I going to be like ten years from now? Am I going to see a change as big as I did from 10 years ago when I was six? Or is it going to be more subtle? Honestly, I couldn't tell you. What I can tell you is I'm really excited to find out what the next 10 years will bring: be it the trials, the blessings, the changes...All of it.

2012 Bucket List

1. Watch an outdoor movie.
2. Fly a kite.
3. Win a race, even if it's only in my own heat.
4. Go snowshoeing.
5. Drive using a quarter to tell me which direction to turn.
6. Go to General Conference at the conference center.
7. Go sledding.
8. Run XC.
9. Shop at either the Gateway or City Creek.
10. Sew something.
11. See a play I wouldn't have seen if I hadn't made this goal.
12. Go to some sort of a museum.
13. Kidnap someone and take them to breakfast.
14. Play my violin in front of an audience.
15. Drink hot chocolate with people I love.
16. Send Braiden something crazy in a package.
17. Get my license.
18. Go on a picnic at mystic park (Idea passed down by Ann Marie.)
19. Go hiking.
20. Picnic in the back of my truck.
21. Have a themed movie marathon.
22. Make some kind of "work of art."
23. Make someone cookies.
24. Visit the gardens at Thanksgiving Point.
25. Go to the zoo.
26. Tape quarters to a vending machine.
27. Own a pillow pet.
28. Send someone besides a missionary an actual letter.  
29. Play glow in the dark mini golf.
30. Get caught in the rain.
31. See the lights at temple square.
32. Have a GNO complete with chocolate and a chick flick.
33. Succesfully move an oreo from my forehead to my mouth without using my hands.
34. Go to EFY.
35. Go to girls camp.
36. Read a whole book in one day. (200 pages or more)
37. Add a new picture book to my list of favorites.
38. Go on a Slurpee run.
39. Dress Izzie up for Halloween.
40. Actually do something I see on pinterest.
41. Have someone sing to me.
42. Hang pictures I took myself in my room.
43. Go over the wake on my ski 10 times in one pass.
44. Take Abbie on a sister date.
45. Go to the temple with friends.
46. Feed the ducks.
48. Learn how to play a new card game.
49. Get my hair done for something special.
50. Watch a sunset with someone I love.
51. Cross a finish line backwards.
52. Make a wish on a shooting star.

Stress with a Capitol S

People always tell me "You know Allie, I've figured it out! You are never happy unless you're stressed," like it's some big epiphany or something. Don't worry guys, I know that. I've known it since forever. As strange as it is, I thrive on stress. Stress keeps me going. It motivates me. I never get anything done unless I'm stressed out about it. I'm not happy unless I'm working hard on something I'm passionate about. It's not some kind of big secret I haven't figured out on my own yet. I need to be busy. It's part of who I am. Getting stressed out easily is also a part of who I am. Sometimes it can be a real gift, but sometimes, it's really, really hard. Stress is such a hard balancing act for me. I don't like being anxious. I don't like worrying about everything all the time. I don't like the sick feeling I get whenever a really hard test is announced in class. I don't like bursting into tears at random times because I feel like the weight is just too much at the moment and I need to get rid of some. I don't like the feeling of inadequacy I get because I am the only person so stressed out when others have even more on their plates. I don't like realizing I'm only human and can't do everything on my own. I hate piling my burdens on other people. Asking for help is so hard for me. Even though I don't like these things, it's still a part of who I am, and how I work. I'm a perfectionist, and I always will be. Even though it can be really hard, it is also a huge blessing. I love the feeling I get when I finish a really hard test in school and I know I've done well. I love getting my report card and looking at my grades knowing how hard I've had to work to get them that way. I love seeing a friend smile when I'm able to help them lift a burden. I love finishing a project I was so stressed out about and noticing all the small details that took forever, but made it so good. I love winning and thinking back about how hard I've had to work. Honestly, the results of something aren't what makes me so happy. It's the feeling of going from completely stressed out, to being on cloud nine. It's looking back on my sacrifice and realizing it was all worth it in the end. I love to work hard. It's just who I am.

I just want to be me.

My name is Allie Shumway. I love my family more than anything else on this earth. I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and I am so grateful that I can say that. I love the gospel so much! I am the oldest granddaughter on both sides of my family. I really love to read, and I really don't love doing my math homework. Chemistry confuses me, but I like to write essays on a topic I'm passionate about. The Salt Lake temple is my very favorite temple, and one day I'm going to get married there. I like to run. My perfect day is a perfect summers day water skiing out on the lake. My favorite scripture is 2Nephi 4:19. I'm a romantic at heart. My favorite painting is called "The Bride" by James Christensen. I like to act. I only like milk in the chocolate assortment. My favorite day of the week is the day I get a letter from Braiden, followed by Friday. Winning isn't everything, but boy do I like it when I do! I have a lot of random phrases I say a lot, like "You're a peach," "Go, fight, win!" "Good form," "Way to be!"...the list goes on. I love to play my violin, but I don't really like to play in an orchestra. My older brother is my very best friend. I sing in the shower, and sometimes I talk to myself. My favorite number is the number 11. I really, really want to be Tinkerbell in Disneyland for a summer. I love music, and I love it loud. I want to serve a mission. I like to color, but I can't draw. I love to smile. I love to see other people smiling even more. I have a weird little nose twitch that drives me, and most likely everyone around me nuts. I love to laugh until I squeak and can't breath. Most of the time my laugh is funnier than the actual joke. Listening to others laugh makes me laugh. I love being happy. I love being me.